The Clampets go camping.

Last week, hubby and I took the girls on a 7 day trip to see Zion, Bryce Canyon and the Grand Canyon. The husband feared that his geologist card would get revoked if he did not visit 3 of the most geologically interesting (is that an oxymoron??) places in the United States. So packing nearly everything we own we set off for Southern Utah/Northern Arizona. What a great time we had!!! The girls and the dog all had a blast! I learned more about geology then I would have ever hoped to and the girls learned what a 'hoo doo" is. Here are a few pictures of our adventures.
I now have a pile of dirty clothes in my house the size of Mt. Rushmore...but at least my counter is clean!!!

Just call me Betty Crocker. I'll even settle for June Cleaver!!

For Mother's Day, Daughter 2's preschool had a mom's tea. In anticipation of this, they completed a book about their moms by filling in the blanks on pages of a book describing their mom. Here are a few of my daughter's best:

My mom is 56 years old. Her favorite thing to do around the house is clean the counter. Her favorite thing to do in all the world is cook. She is so pretty when she wears high heeled shoes. :) Wow that makes me look good. I guess if it is something you do a lot your kids will think it is your favorite thing to do. So here I am, in my high heeled shoes, cooking and cleaning the counter. Well at least I am not barefoot...

Rules for the summer

Well our first day of 100 degrees is quickly approaching. I thought it would be good to make a list of some important things to remember when it gets that hot (just in case you come by or you happen to find yourself in an oven.)

1)Only visit places that have a/c.
2) Don't leave anything in your car that will melt. Even for one minute. Really. Do you know how fast chocolate melts? I do. If you must, take it with you. Protect all chocolate!!
3) Test the metal parts of your car on small parts of your body before grabbing them with your hand.
4)If going to the ATM leave your car on. For some reason it takes 2 second to heat up your car but a full 5 minutes to cool it down again.
5) Don't ride in anything with plastic seats.
6)Despite what your mother told you you can leave the house with wet hair. In fact it is a good idea except that it will only be wet for about 5 minutes. But anything helps.
7) If you have to be outside, don't stand on the blacktop and get into a body of water as quickly as possible. If not possible, go back inside.
8) Wear sunglasses.
9)Wear sunscreen. In other places I am sure it is safe if you are only going to be outside for a little while however, other places are not Phoenix. Keep sunblock in your car.
10)Don't wear anything any shirt that has sleeves or any bottoms that go past the knee. Also all foot wear that is NOT a flip flop should be avoided. Unless you are running. Of course only crazy people run here in the summer so this probably doesn't apply to any of you.
11) Beer and/or margaritas.

Well I think that about covers it. Any suggestions? If so let me know.

The Way Things Should Be

Today my oldest daughter has her first "testing" experience in school. She was feeling nervous this morning and started asking me questions about it. I just said:
"Honey don't worry they just want to find out what you know."
She replies "Oh so I close my eyes and imagine a play and then I write it down."

Man, if only!! I wish that were the way it is. Yes I think school would be much better if it was run by a 7 year old.

I'm just not ready

I am slowly coming to the conclusion that I will not survive both of my daughters going through puberty. I think it has already started. Daughter one cries when she can't find her slipper or when the toothpaste doesn't come out of the tube just right. Also clothes. Aye, the clothes. She changed 4 times this morning and would only wear jean shorts. She has about 6 other pairs in her drawer not to mention skirts and dresses but no, it must be the shorts. And the shirts. Must be soft and just so or she's not wearing it. Only tennis shoes. The socks must be a certain kind. She doesn't like it when the toe "feels funky". She is only 7. What is coming? I don't think I have the strength for this. And she already thinks I don't know anything. How did I live this long without knowing anything? I'm thinking maybe a nice school in Paris. Or I could take some small pills for a few years. The PhD program is like kindergarten compared to being a mother to two girls. I love them dearly but I am wondering if there is way to love them from afar until they are 18 or so......

I gave birth to a lawyer!

Well it has become apparent that our oldest daughter may be headed for a career in law. Here is a conversation between her and me.

Me: Please go change out of your pajamas into your clothes so we can go to the store.
Daughter: But I want to stay in these.
Me: No, it is just not appropriate to wear those to the store. It is a public place so you should probably be in clothes. And besides, you have been in those for quite awhile.
Daughter: (moment of silence) Um well since that isn't a very good reason then I am just going to stay in my pajamas.
Me: Okay. I did not want to have to do this but you give me no choice. I am pulling the mommy card. You do it because I said so.
Daughter: (looking very unhappy) Okay (big sigh) I guess that does it.

Where does she get this? Well I blame it on her dad because it makes me feel better but I think she has far surpassed the both of us. I always wanted smart kids but this is getting ridiculous!!

I am not sure what my youngest daughter will become (she says she wants to be an actress) but when I asked her to change her clothes she said "Okay mommy!!" Of course she came out in a pink flowered skirt, orange top, striped socks and red shoes. You go girl!!

FINALLY!!..and Happy Birthday

well after days of "Check the mail mom." and "Did they come yet mom?" or "When will they get here mom?" They have indeed finally arrived. Yes the long awaited American Girls made it to our house safe and sound (thanks Penmans!!). Here are a few pictures of the girls and their dolls. Daughter Two's girl is Molly and Daughter One's is Katelyn but we call her Kate for short. We have been in a flurry of American Girl clothes and shoes. But it was, worth the wait. Also I am wishing daughter one a very happy 7th birthday. The other night in bed she said: "Mom it's okay that we share a birthday because it's more exciting for kids then adults."
"Why?" I asked
"Because kids get better stuff."

Well there you have it. I guess I really am still 29 since I haven't offically had a birthday since she was born.

My 6 degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon

Okay so you know that game "Seven Degrees of Separation from Kevin Bacon?" Well I always thought it was clever but could never find my separation degree and who was involved. Well I think I finally have it. I get my hair cut at a spa inside my gym. My hairdresser, Amy, also cuts Matt Leinart's hair. Matt went to USC. USC is located in the same city as UCLA. A professor at UCLA married Jon Lithgow. Jon Lithgow starred in a little movie called "Footloose" with none other than Kevin Bacon. So there it is. About as close as I will ever get to anyone famous. Sad that I spent time doing that isn't it? Well it is Spring Break and all...

What's that mean?

Well the husband and I have realized we have moved into a new stage with our daughters. They are now discovering that there words out there that are considered "swear words" and this has caused lots of commotion as you can imagine. Here is an example of some of the conversations we have been having.

Daughter 2(after seeing Dad hit a great golf shot) Wow Dad, that was hot shit!
Dad: Hmm. Where did you hear that?
Daughter 2: A guy golfing said it.
Dad: Do you know what it means?
Daughter 2: No.
Dad: Well Shit means poop.
Daughter 2: You mean like dog poop?
Dad: Yea.
Daughter 2: Oh.(Wheels turning in head)

A few nights later:

Daughter 1: Hey Dad. What is the "F" word. I know it's not fat or fudge because that boy (from A Christmas Story) wouldn't get his mouth washed out with soap for saying those words.
Dad: I'll tell you when you are older.
Daughter 1: Why?
Dad: Because.
Daughter 1: But I won't say it. Please.
Dad: I'll tell you when you get older.
Daughter 1: When will that be?
Dad: I don't know.

Wow. Well it will be interesting to see what new words they start coming home with. I can't wait. Really.

Safeway through the eyes of a child

This first one is called "carts" then there's "produce", "cream cheese", "bread" and of course "doughnut". She did take a few of people but they were not nearly as interesting nor did they have the right composition. She could become the Ansel Adams of the everyday experience. Enjoy!!

Blogmania

Having a blog can be quite high maintenance. (I don't think that is spelled right even though there is no red line...) Anyway I just "updated" my blog and changed the template and added stuff. It's kinda like having a relationship. You need to communicate and "pay attention" to it. You can't ignore it for too long or you get "Why haven't you blogged?"or "Where have you been?" Of course once you are a blogger, you can't go back. It is impossible. So here I go again.

My youngest daughter went on a field trip to Safeway. She brought along her camera. I am going to post some of her pictures tomorrow. She is quite the photographer. She's calling her series "Safeway through the eyes of a child." Profound. Utterly profound.

Life's a Bit** and Idiot Part Deux

Well the other day my youngest daughter was playing a little game that lots of kids play when they are learning to read/write. She did the rhyming game. She started with the the word "Witch"..yes I know you know where this is going. So she says "ditch, bi...." To which my oldest daughter yells "Oh that's a bad word. She said a bad word." My husband and I wondered how she even knew it was a bad word to which she replied "Well 2 of the boys at school call each other that and one of the boys told me it was a bad word" I guess, according to him, they say bad words all the time. So my oldest daughter had to jump at the chance of telling the parents that her sister said a bad word. We proceeded to tell them what the B word meant and that it was not a nice word to call people. My youngest responded: "Well what if I want to call myself a bit**. Can't I call myself a bit**??" We are working on this one.
Then today my oldest asked me what idiot meant. "I thought I told you already, someone who isn't smart. Why did someone call you that?"
"No" she replied.
"Well did you call someone that?"
Pause... "well. I sit next to two boys mom and they are just really annoying. So I said-'Here I am, sitting between two idiots'."
"What did they say?" I asked
"One of the boys said 'Oh yea, well you're a moron'."
"Well I guess he gave it right back to you. What did you do?"
"Just laughed."
Hmm-we are working on this one too!!!

I sleep therefore I am

I noticed the other night after checking in on my sleeping girls that they way they sleep reflects their personality. For example the youngest one has a bed full of toys and stuff, rolls around all night and likes to sleep "on the edge" which of course she falls off of now and then. My oldest daughter sleeps on her back, with her hands by her side, her blanket on top of her in the middle of the bed and hardly ever moves. It seems to match up now however puberty is just around the corner and then, I'm sure, anything goes!!

boyfriends????

Yesterday my oldest daughter said "Mom, what if I don't want to have a boyfriend until I am like 12?" In my head I yelled "12??? How about never??" Of course I said, "12 honey? Boys are just trouble. What about 18 or 20?" Then she just looked at me...well a mom can dream can't she?

The answer to world peace

When my sister and niece and nephew came out to visit for a week I was riding in the car with my girls and my niece. Daughter 2 was going on and on about how great it was to be at home alone while her big sister was in school. "I get to do whatever I want. Except pee in my pants." Later that day I was asking daughters about their days/life etc. Daughter 1 said "Yea the world is great except for this zit on my nose." To which I replied "So if you didn't have that zit the world would be perfect." "Yes" she said. If only everyone else knew the key to happiness and peace was getting to pee in your pants and getting rid of zits....

Yes there is snow in Az

Just so our kids don't get too weird we took them up to Flagstaff to enjoy "weather". It turned out just great because it snowed while we were there so the girls got to make snowmen and have a snowball fight. We were standing out in the parking lot of the hotel and Emma yelled out to a stranger walking by "IT'S SNOWING!!" He just laughed. It was pretty hilarious. I said "We live in Phoenix, what can I say?" I love their jackets but we won't be needing them again for another year.

Word Fun

A couple of weeks ago my oldest daughter's homework included word making. She was given the word THANKSGIVING and was asked to make as many words out of the letters as possible. She started with the usual: an, in, thank. Well as she continued to work on it I was doing other things. I looked over her list later and these are a couple of the words she added, in this order: gin, sin....hmmm well at least she understands the assignment!!!

Our Jewish Santa

At school, my oldest daughter is learning about Hannukah. She has been singing songs about it for days. The other day she asked if we could be Jewish so we could light the menorah and so she could get presents for 8 days instead of just one! Well I told her we didn't have to be Jewish to light a menorah. She wasn't sure about that, she was concerned about being arrested. Well after we got that all squared away we decided to get a menorah and light a candle each night. Now my husband and I don't have any idea what we are doing but our girls won't know the difference. I thought it was cute of her to suggest it in the first place. So we will be lighting our menorah, which is next to the tree, which is by the nativity scene. I really hope I'm not screwin them up too bad!! It should be a very interesting 8 days.

Why teachers rule the world.

Well here I am, one more semester done. I always hope that I feel more of a sense of relief then I do. This is probably becuase, in the back of my mind, I know that I am SO far from being done. Well at least I can take a break right??? I am currently learning a lesson in payback. As a teacher, there is no way of knowing what impact you or your words have on a student. Well now that I am on the "recieving" end I can tell you- it is quite alot! The other day I was getting the girls ready for bed at 7:00. The oldest one looked at the clock and said "but mom it's only 7 and Ms. Trent says that our bedtime is 7:30-just like her and Logan." Now I know that what Ms. Trent meant was that the kids' bedtimes shouldn't be later then 7:30 (some kids in her class have bedtimes of 9 or 10). Well how was i going to explain this to a 6 year old. She heard what she heard. Well I said what any self respecting mom would say in response to this: "Do you see Ms. Trent here?" 36 hours of labor and this is what you get. Well I suppose it could be worse This same daugther spent 2 1/2 hours on her homework. Over one hour of it was spent drawing a picture for a math problem. The math took her all of about 30 seconds but the picture had to be just so-oye vey!! I blame it on her father. It makes me feel better. But it still doesn't get her work done any faster.

Morons and other mysteries of life

My youngest daughter called my oldest daughter a moron this morning. They did not know what it meant so I told them it was someone who was well maybe not so intelligent and that they were not to call each other or anyone else that. My oldest daughter then replied: "Well but aren't there people who are morons?"
Yes, there was a slight pause...I mean when you're right, you're right.

I didn't really have anything intelligent to say. I was, at that moment, a moron. I am sure it won't be my last.